


Insignificant Love

by OnlyforNew



Category: ONEWE (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 17:36:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19468816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyforNew/pseuds/OnlyforNew
Summary: Dongmyeong's train journey on the way back from Giwook's is just as pathetic as he thought it would be.





	Insignificant Love

The robotic voice of the announcement filled the station. The noise of the trains coming in and out of the station nearly overtook it but the robotic announcer was somehow still louder. The smoke that the trains let out fills my nose and reminded me of how real the situation was. I am leaving to go home. After spending a whole week with Giwook, I am finally going home. 

"Okay, you can go back now," I turn around and smile at him as soon as we entered the station. 

"At least let me walk you to your train," He shoves my shoulder lightly and walks past me trying to look at the timetable. I just roll my eyes from behind him.

It isn’t warm today but it isn’t exactly too cold either. I wouldn't say it was the perfect temperature as goosebumps are starting to raise on my arms but it could've been worse. Besides, I guess the weather is empathizing with how I feel.

"Oh looks like your trains already here," Giwook explains while suddenly stopping, causing me to nearly run into him. I step to the side and then forward so I am beside him.

"I guess you're right." I announce. A short silence follows after that. 

"Well Dongmy-"

"I'll go on ahead!" I shout while already heading inside. I don’t even turn to see his face one last time. Who knows what stupid things I would have done if I let him continue. If I let him melt me with his words again.

I sit down and try to distract myself and it works, as for the five minutes before the train leaves, I’m not thinking about him. I can't let myself, not with the chances of him still being outside; waiting for my train to depart before leaving. I can’t let him see what a mess I am for him. How distraught I feel about leaving. He'd catch on.  
As the train leaves, it starts. 

My lip starts to quiver slightly as all the emotions I've been feeling about leaving finally pile up. It's painful. Leaving him that is. Especially after seeing him every day for a solid week, that hasn't happened since we left high school. Being with him for so long reminded me of just how much I missed him. Just how much I needed him. Just how much I loved him. Or love him.

I try to suck in my tears. I mean how pathetic would it be to cry on the train. This wouldn't be happening if I just told him how I felt. If I could just tell him that I love him as more than best friends. But if I could do that, I wouldn't be here right now sighing and trying to hold in my tears. 

I look up to try and distract myself only to notice the window is fogged up because of the cold. I let out another sigh and lift my finger to the glass. I slowly slide my finger on the freezing plane causing the tip of my finger to numb. When I pull my finger away there remaining is now "Giwook" spelled out on the glass. I scoff, and I thought crying on the train was pathetic.

I pull my sleeve over my hand and start whipping away the steamed-up window, starting with the ridiculous name written on it. I manage to get a good portion of the window clear so I can finally look at the scenery and hopefully forget whatever fucked-up emotions are left lingering in my gut. 

I manage to do that for a while. Just looking out the window watching the trees and greenery of the countryside turn into more buildings and structures as we started to go more into the city. As I start to get further and further away from him. 

Suddenly without much warning, tears start to form in my eyes again. I hate my emotions. I don't want people to think I'm crying on the train, so I pretend to yawn. I play it off as if the tears were simply a product of the yawn. With that, I manage to stop the tears and continue to gaze out the window.

A moment passes and then my mind goes back to him. I really shouldn't have stayed with him for a week. I really shouldn’t have gone near him in the first place. It hurts enough to even hear his voice on the phone now, but seeing him in person is a whole different type of pain. Although nothing can hurt more than knowing he has a habit of talking to a girl now.

I didn't know this before I stayed with him but, he's found a girl who he enjoys speaking with, and he talks to her every night. This is another reason I should've never visited. I didn't need to know this. I didn't want to know this. I've never had a broken heart before but hearing about this girl, is probably the closest to heartbreak I can imagine.  
I know I really shouldn't be, especially since Giwook seems happy with her, but I'm jealous of that girl. I can only wish to even begin to dream about being together with Giwook as a couple. To be someone he's drawn to. To be someone he's tied together with. It's a selfish desire I know it is. He's starting to be happy yet here I am dreaming of being with him. The fact that I'm even thinking about it hurts me. What kind of a best friend am I? 

I just hope no one notices how I feel. The last thing I need is for someone to notice, then I'd have ruined everything. All I wanted to do was even dream of having a chance with him. To be happy with him. But now that he might actually have found someone, even dreaming about it might be too much. I know this, yet I don't think I can stop. It's selfish of me, I know, and I truly am sorry about it. But this insignificant love will forever remain only mine. 

You know. It's funny. How even after all this time, I still remember the day we first met. We were in high school. He was awkward and I was slightly less awkward. I approached him in music class. He was good at the bass and I could play the keyboard. I thought we could team up for the music project, so I approached him. He was kind even back then. He agreed and we have been friends ever since. It's not much of an interesting story. It wasn't even particularly special to me at the time either. So why is it that this memory is one of the most precious ones I have.

I wish I could just come out and say to his face that I like him. Whenever I'm with him my heart beats so hard and loud, I'm surprised he hasn't noticed it yet. It won't calm down no matter what I try. I want to hide it, I'm scared people will notice. I don't want that to happen when he could be happy without knowing. But I want him to know. I wish I was the person I was when we first met. The outgoing boy who could tell him everything. The boy who could go up to him and say that even know we're friends, I'm in love with you. I don't think I can go on hiding it. I don't think I can keep trying to forget. I want to tell him. I do. 

But with the secret locked within me, I lean against the window and sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter is @violetchanhee.


End file.
